Why I should (or shouldn't) write comics.

Apologies for the poor sentence structure in the following story. It was written in about fifteen minutes two years ago.

How this little story came about is really quite simple. I was thinking how it must suck to be a regular vanilla human in the Justice League, regularly going to different parts of the world, or other worlds, or other dimensions with your regular human immune system. I believe this is a storyline that has never appeared in comics, and it should.



Superman walks through the Hall, his face, though composed, unable to hide the underlying apprehension he feels. The Batman has been missing for the last twelve hours, disappearing shortly after the latest fight with Dark Side on Apocalypse. . As he walks through the slideway, he arrives in the Justice League satellite, roughly 22,000 miles above earth.

He makes his way into the Kitchen, where the other active members are waiting for him. He nodded to Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and the rest by way of greeting. "Nothing," he said.

"Same for the rest of us," Wonder Woman replies. "Where could he be?"

Superman folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. "With the information we have, there's no way to know."

The Flash suddenly appeared in the middle of the gathering with a zip of buzzing air. "Guys, c'mon, this is Batman. This is the only guy who's been able to successfully able to hide from everyone on the planet 'cause he was slightly miffed that they kinda removed all the human rights for a while." Suddenly the Flash was standing next to Wonder Woman, elbow resting at an odd angle on the taller woman's shoulder. "He might just be getting laid. Lord knows he could use it."

Wonder Woman rolled her eyes while the Green Lantern hid a smile. Superman raised a finger and opened his mouth to speak--

Nightwing entered the room, his cheeks slightly ruddy. "Guys... Not that I don't enjoy where this conversation is heading, but Bats has the shits. He's been in the head for the last eight hours."

All eyes turned on Batman's ex-partner. After a moment the Flash was the first to recover and barked out a laugh and slapped his knee. "No one thought to check the shitter? Ha!"

There was a "zip!" and suddenly the Flash was at the entrance. "Well now that's over with, there's a Hurricane in Florida I have to do something about."

After everyone went back to their respective duties, Wonder Woman cracked the door to the mens bathroom open. "Bruce? Are you okay?"

"Hell is flowing from my colon."

Wonder Woman didn't know how to reply to that. "Is there anything you need?"

"Kill me, Diana."

Standing frozen for a minute, Wonder Woman slowly shuts the door.

-McK